Asteroid Detection

Needle in a Cosmic Haystack

President Patterson finished his prepared speech in front of the retired Space Shuttle Discovery at the National Air and Space Museum, not because he was needed there, but because it was an amazing photo op. As an asteroid approached Earth, threatening to end all life, the united efforts of the space agencies and militaries of the world would come to fruition today.

And he needed to feel useful.

He had not been useful. For starters, he had tried to defund the telescopes that the Eigenweasels used to detect the asteroid in the first place. A quaint nickname for quantum supercomputers that really bothered the career politician. It gave a frivolity he just didn't care for. Sure, he'd memorized the buzz words. 'Thermal annealing' and 'quantum quadratic optimization' sounded great in a press conference. But when the reporters shouted, 'Didn't you vote against the Eigenweasels?,' he felt both undignified and annoyed at his political blunders.

But now he was front and center as the nuclear rockets approached the asteroid. Not nuclear warheads. Nuclear reactors. Six rockets built by the consortium, they would be landing at strategic locations the Eigenweasels had calculated under direction of astrodynamicists, rocket engineers, and geologists.

Front and center, except his time was up. He pouted as he sat down. He knew he was pouting, but he didn't care. He was the president! He should be the center of attention. His speech had received only a pity clap. But Nancy Umber, Director of NASA? She was being cheered like she was a rock star as she approached the podium. It was her efforts that had united the world space agencies these last seven years. It was her efforts that led to sharing of all telescopic data with the Eigenweasels. Her efforts led to every space agency teaming up to make rockets. This was her victory and the pundits in both parties were throwing her name out to take his job!

Maybe he should fire her? He'd probably get impeached by his own party if he did. Maybe worse. Ignored.

The countdown sounded and he rose, trying to find a spot to be in the limelight. Nothing. All eyes watched the readouts from NASA, and in the corner was a shot of the Director's face. As touchdown was called and the crowd went silent, waiting on the results of the clamping operations, her face was calmness incarnate. As the crowd cheered wildly as the rocket attachments were confirmed, she smiled with a dignity that gave the president unholy envy. As the rockets fired and the asteroid trajectory began to shift as planned, the crowd wept and she raised a single fist in triumph. A tear fell down her cheek. A masterful performance. The worst part? She might not even be performing.

He looked for his lackeys. It was time to find someone to blame. Maybe he could ask the Eigenweasels to find him a scapegoat. It couldn't be that hard for a supercomputer.